The Landlady

Oh in my youth, I usedta tramp

the coast of California,

and mighty fun it was to camp–

though bitter cold I’ll warnya…

So thus I sought a room to let,

just somethin’ warm and cozy,

and otherwise would not have met

the lovely lady Rosie.

She ran a humble boarding house

the western side the City;

she’d not a fam’ly nor a spouse

but loved a cat named ‘Kitty.’

Her smile’d flash a blinding blur;

her eyes were grey and steeley;

her curves were round as peaches; her

demeanor touchy-feely.

Now quick the weeks they came and went

and always short on money…

so, Rosie said, “In lie of rent

Ya work fer me now Honey…”

Well, first I hosed her gutters out,

I did it fast and steady,

then next, she had me lay some grout

and boy, my brow was sweaty.

I cleaned her carpet — made it gleam —

the whole time I was humming.

I poured her puss a splash of cream,

she found that quite… becoming.

But then she sent me on my way

abruptly so and shocking;

I packed my bag in time to say

‘goodbye’ and started walking.

These days, my youth is gone and dead

and money ain’t no issue,

yet still, I lay awake in bed

and weep… into a tissue…

and reminisce when to my name

I never had a penny,

and wonder if she does the same

but tenants had she many…